Return of the Blogger

I woke up extremely tired this morning. There was not even an argument in my head as to whether I should hit the snooze alarm. I hit it 5 times, falling completely back asleep each time. I suppose it would have made more sense to simply set a new alarm 45 minutes in the future - but that was not something I was ready to stoop to. It occurs to me that it's time to start going to bed earlier - but, in reality, it's not that big of a deal. I am generally well-rested, and I generally have enough time to do what I need to do.

I find myself in a pleasant state of detachment today - not an uneasy one. I have no interest in political drama, distractions or arguments with anyone or about anything.

I turned off my morning political snark (currently switching between Young Turks and Bill Maher) and went outside to do garden work. For once I felt like I had a little bit of time, so I took it easy, meandering and observing before watering. Normally, when I'm rushed, I will have a strong sense that there are a million things to do out there while I'm watering and feel stress at not being able to do anything. I had time this morning, and, suddenly, I wasn't sure what to do. Feeling rushed and dramatic is not very helpful or realistic.

I'm a little upset that no one responded to my Facebook posting of Peter Gabriel's song Solsbury Hill. I should not expect people to respond to everything, or even to "like" everything, but there was a lot of emotion behind that posting. I guess Facebook is not the place for it. That's frustrating, because, thanks to Facebook, I now expect all my thoughts and feelings can be shared with all my friends at once. It doesn't match up with what Facebook actually is. Only certain things can get attention. Maybe I could come up with something better?

In zazen today, I felt a tremendous tension throughout my body. Oftentimes, allowing this tension to express itself and work itself through me has been a focus in meditation, a signpost that things have been working. It will be that way for at least a few days. My current focus has been retraining my eyes to rest on the dot I placed on the wall. This has been challenging. I am not entirely certain, but I think the feeling of tension arose, because I was successful in keeping my eyes on the dot. It makes me feel like my body is a Rube Goldberg Machine of emotional tension. When I release it from one spot, it will move to another. I proceed to chase it from one spot to another. Will it eventually reach its home?

I suppose it's also worth mentioning that I decided to start blogging again today. Short, simple entries. I think using my blog to achieve a deep understanding of myself is not the right thing. A simple chronicle or journal is good enough. I am wholly inspired by Michael Johnson's Negative Space. I started doing journal comics myself, but it doesn't work for me.

I'm going to write shorter entries in the future. Maybe many in the course of a day. I wish there were something between Twitter and Blogging. Another thing I could come up with?