Beginning tomorrow, I will be embarking on a 30-day focus on my feelings. I have started many projects before; set many goals. But I have noticed that everything tends to fall flat because my feelings lag behind whatever agenda my mind has cooked up. I experience this lag as resistance. Sometimes it is fiery and angry; but usually it takes the form of a listless, restless apathy. "I need to do anything but that. I don't know what I want to do, but I don't want to do that."
I have no agenda - that is part of this. I am offering only commitment to do something. For the sake of focus, part of that will be blogging. Yes, I will be blogging every day of September. If I do nothing else each day, I will be writing down a single observation of my feelings. This will be valuable. Ending the next month with the smallest incremental increase of insight will be something wonderful.
There are many explanations out there. I am not seeking the explanation of another person. This is to be entirely experienced, conceived and, most importantly, felt through my own direct experience.
Some questions I will be focusing on:
What does it mean to follow my feelings, as opposed to choosing anything else?
What does it mean to want something?
What is a good feeling? What is a bad feeling?
How do my feelings affect my relationship with others?
To what extent is it possible to feel for others?
What is the real difference between a feeling and an emotion? (I'm using the definitions laid out by Jung: a feeling is a conscious judgment; an emotion is an unconscious reaction.)
Are feelings 100% in the body? If not, what are the parts that aren't in the body?
Some ways I will be honoring my commitment, besides blogging:
Doing something creative. Writing music; writing a story; writing poems; designing something material, spatial or social.
Sitting and doing nothing else beyond observing my feelings (outside of my normal meditation schedule).
Intense journaling or dialoging.
Active imagination.
Shamanic journeying.
Intense yoga session.
Intense hike.
I will of course be observing over the course of the day, as well.
See you tomorrow.
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