I continue to focus on how I spend my time; what underlying beliefs I have that make me choose one activity over another; how different activities have different influences; that is, maybe one thing leads to another. How "time wasting" activities tend to enforce more; how doing things like cleaning or focused relaxing opens me up more.
This is all a good process. Not quite as instantaneous, "pull myself up by my own bootstraps" as the childish expectation to be completely in control would have it. But the slow and effective process of observing, asking myself questions, keeping myself on my toes, learning to allow feelings to take up the space that they need to produce a fertile hour, day, week.
Little work this evening; but, then again, I never really wanted to use these evenings for being productive. I need to honor that decision I made a while back and not keep trying to fill up the time with activities. Certainly not burden myself with the notion that I should be doing something I don't really need to do right now.
What I need to focus on more is getting proper rest. At this point, at this hour, I can only hope that I will get enough rest for tomorrow, which promises to be another long, full day. In a good way.
Good night, all.
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