Uncoiled

Faced with the prospect of so much work undone, so much to do. For my trip, for my future, with my computer, with my bedroom, with my car, with my money, with my accordion, with Spanish, with an endless list of activities, properties and projects;

Faced with the knowledge that whatever I mean when I talk of myself, in the conventional, ego-based way, I am here only temporarily, only once;

Faced with the endless possibilities of love and openness, of a deep, stark potential to grow and understand;

I am happy with the knowledge that I can get to bed earlier than normal and spend some time reading.

--

I've had a wonderful weekend. No huge bursts of change or productivity. Just subtle and powerful influences from beautiful places and people.

Red Canyon Reserve has always caught my eye, but now I am positive it is one of my favorite places in the whole world. What would it take for me to hang out there more? The next workshop is October 8 - 10. Will I sign up?

I am resting quietly tonight. There has been a frustrating development in my Peru plans; I don't want to write about it until I get more information. It's not anything tragic, but it does force me to slow things down when I have little time in which to plan. More later.

My biggest focus right now is on my budget. Slowly I've been figuring out what I want to do with myself; at the same time, I'm learning Mint. It's a slow process. Hopefully I'll have about an hour tomorrow morning to work on it. We'll see.

Finally, Penelope recommends that I learn to indulge myself a little more, in more nurturing ways than I have in the past. At the same time, I'm trying to wean myself off of unnecessary mind-numbing activities. I would like to find a kind of pleasure that I have been ignoring - the pleasure of slowness and anticipation and just being somewhere. It will be quite a job, carving out room for that kind of pleasure in an already crowded interior space. But I am slowly equipping myself for the job.

Good night, all.