Crickets in catalpas, the cricket in the sage

A night that takes me outside into the neighborhood I have known only as a stress release on evening walks...

I am faced with a fairly huge decision I need to make by the morning. I cannot go into the details here. I have not decided what I am going to do. I don't feel I know myself and where my life is headed clearly enough to make a decision. That, in itself, makes me sway in one direction rather than the other, but I need to consider carefully.

I feel I am tasked now with taking the rudder of my life carefully in my hands. This requires caution - because what is truly free for me - or what might make me truly free - might not necessarily be very symbolically free. It might mean digging deeper into commitments I have made, for example.

I feel I could benefit from pulling myself in a little bit tonight - reading a nourishing book that could also clarify my life, doing some journaling. Recording my dream tomorrow morning.

I will go into somewhat more detail (but never full detail) about this decision, once everything is said and done. We'll see. Part of my anxiety tonight is that I don't feel I have the full picture in view - it bears some more exploration at the places I can learn more.

But that's enough. Being vague like this is not productive for me and not interesting for you.

Back to my evening.

Good night, all.