Ever forward, my darling wind

This quote popped into my mind as I began to blog tonight. It's from Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Volume 4.

Spoiler Alert (if you care).

It's the last lines spoken by Master Yupa as he dies, spoken to Nausicaa.

Without analyzing the entire set-up, basically Master Yupa has been a good friend to Nausicaa her whole life. He is a wandering, observing swordsman who has subtly and carefully protected Nausicaa and her people from a distance, offering what gifts of knowledge, support and insight he can. When the shit hits the fan and Nausicaa gets embroiled in the struggles of all the various empires to uncover ancient sources of power, he supports her fully, ultimately sacrificing himself so she can continue her efforts.

Complicated sci-fi / fantasy plots aside, what I get from this is a feeling that a part of me needs to perish before I can continue. I feel at this moment that Yupa is an old way of doing things and Nausicaa is a new, living, vibrant present response to the world. The old must perish. It can go out nobly or in terror and fear. Yupa was brave and keen, so his death was valuable and graceful, so it makes a pleasurable example, though it doesn't have to go that way, really.

The real issue is:

How do you prepare for a part of you to die?

I suppose the first step is recognition. I'm slowly getting to that point. At the moment, I'm mainly using literary sources: The Pathwork of Self-Transformation and Radical Honesty are my guides. Radical Honesty makes it look very simple: what needs to perish is every lie I have ever told, am telling and plan on telling. Simple, but excruciating. In a good way.

I feel like the mood for such a transformation is gathering in me like a slow weather pattern. I feel I have little control over it - nor should I have any, really. I do what I can. I am learning my limitations in this at the same time I learn what aren't really limitations. I could be living my life a lot differently. The question, though, is how much of it is me taking the right steps, and how much of it is me floating on the right current?

Forward.

Good night, all.