Uneasy calm tonight. I had a big crop of anxiety today; I woke up feeling off, really not wanting to jog. I went out jogging, and it was fine. I actually did fairly well, running faster than I ever have in my Vibrams. And yet, I stupidly did not bring my keys with me and was locked out of my apartment for about 20 minutes, since my roommates left while I was out. I didn't know for sure it was only going to be 20 minutes, so I decided I would walk for 15 minutes, check the door, then walk some more, check the door, and if no one was back the second time, I would just run to work, without my keys or phone or wallet. I make it sound a little dramatic to be wandering around without those accoutrements, but of course I would survive.
Fortunately Jesus had just been dropping Mary off at work, so I got back in pretty soon. I rushed things, but, even so, I was late for work by about 15 minutes, balancing out the extra 15 minutes or so I spent over there last night. So it worked out.
Work was nothing too remarkable, with the exception of a particularly long and tense staff meeting. But even that is not too much out of the ordinary.
Before leaving, I clipped most of the leaves of the sage plant I put on the patio and stored them in my little refrigerator. Rather than use them as a spice, I plan on making a mini smudge-stick, or at least somehow using the leaves in an aromatic way.
At Zen tonight I was the timekeeper, using the wooden clappers and bells in Mountain Cloud Zendo's particular pattern. They have it set up so the time keeper meditates with a silent timer in front of him. When the 25 minutes are up, a light flashes up at you. It's pretty clever; I think I'd like to get one of them at some point. It's nicer than the beeps of my electronic kitchen timer.
Back at home, I was too hungry to prepare a real meal, I told myself. So I broke my diet, which I am not keeping too strictly anyway these days. I do, in fact, feel kind of bloated and gross right now, so at least my alternative is not good for me, if this modified 4 Hour Body diet I'm not isn't the best thing ever. If I really want to diet, I need to take my knowledge up a level or two. I don't like following things blind. The results have been noticeable, if not stellar, so there is some kernal of truth there. But I want to really know what I'm doing. When I have time.
So that is the life of this farmer tonight. Tomorrow I will have more time to do things, think about things, feel things, but I am going to spend it planning my trip to Peru. I'll have Friday night and most of Saturday to myself. I'd really like to spend that time working for myself in a good way, and also allowing myself to thoroughly relax. We'll see what I come up with.
Good night, all.
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