Another Abraham Evening.

Five minute blogging is the flavor of the month. There is one more day in February, so maybe it will change?

Or maybe, at this ice cream parlor, you have the same flavor as flavor of the month, over and over again.

I did very little today, externally. Zoned out. Did a little computer cleaning / reorganizing; also, I started some experiments with oxyclean to see how to best clean out some stained clothing. Exciting stuff.

The highlight of the day was taking a 30-minute walk around the time of sunset, when the snow was coming down in little flurries, but the weather was not harsh enough to be very significant. It was very pleasant.

All the pent-up energy from spending the day doing nothing somehow added to the focus I brought to that walk. I felt very free. I wasn't doing what I was "supposed to." I really do feel that this agenda of productivity is a little constrictive, and ought to be balanced out if not entirely transformed.

But I got some good thinking in. Essentially, it went like this: I need to make a decision about when I want to go to Peru very soon. Possibly even today. What do I need to figure out before I can do that? I need to figure out what I want to be doing for the next 10 months or so. How do I do that? There are little things I need to do. But the most important thing is to work to enliven my core. To awaken all feelings that need to be present.

How to do that, beside what I normally do? I could go to extra therapy. I could have a "soul retrieval." Or something else. Something I have not thought of. And something tells me that something unplanned is probably what's best for me, since it would be free of the agenda-making I'm trying to get away from. It almost seems like I simply need some kind of faith, since the changes I'm interested in making to myself cannot be undertaken on my own. I'm not sure. I can only wait and see.

Good night, all.