Tidal

I feel a tremendous need to relax tonight. Yesterday was another legendary day; today I was occupied with figuring out what to do with myself. What is the nature of my life. I did not sit or ponder or brainstorm or journal. It was more of a subtle undertow, setting everything slightly off balance. It was something my mind was confused about. Do I relax or act? Relax.

One huge thing is that I no longer feel a need to be so strict with my diet. I feel uncomfortable pigging out like I used to; I am now armed with much better perspective on what foods I want and how I want to eat. But I think, if I want to continue with the Four Hour Body's Slow Carb diet, I would need to start again, with more careful planning. Certainly with measurement as an added factor; this was a big omission on my part this time around. Tim Ferriss says measurement is necessary for any of these plans to work. I think that makes sense, now.

I guess I have gained certain momentum in that area, feeling so satisfied with other things, for once. I am happy with the way things are going and, again, I want to gush and gush and gush. But I feel tugs in all kinds of different directions, different issues and crises and problems of being a Self and running my life. One of those issues the is the issue of private/sacred versus public/honest. I am feeling a tug in the direction of privacy/sacredness.

I will say this: things are going wonderfully with my new relationship. I am really happy, and I think I've found a priceless individual. My life is richer and full of magic - but I can't envision any of that transferring here to this blog. Ask me more about her, and I'd love to talk. I just don't feel like it's appropriate to post about her or any other love interest anymore.

I'm sorry, but it might mean that this blog gets more and more boring. It's going to focus on little projects like dieting and exercise. There's more to it than that; I can go deep and work on all the deep issues I need to. I just don't want this to be so much gossip anymore. That's all.

I have much, much to think about in terms of how to live my life, as I began mentioning above. This is a worthy project that warrants going very deep.

I want to get a grip on how I spend my time relaxing, and what that means. That is, the struggle between resting, working and then doing a certain set of activities I consider "unproductive": video games, youtube, pointless web surfing, etc. This will have to be my subject tomorrow, though, as I get ready to fall asleep.

Good night, all.