Okay, it's the 16th already. But the principle remains.
If it were 50 minutes ago, I would write: Ok, let's do this. Let's figure out this restless feeling that makes me sit here and waste time and do things I really don't need.
But I'm tired.
It was a decent long day. I got worried about a cat at the shelter. I went to Ojo Caliente with Abby. It was great, as always. But I feel I was missing something deeper...
Had an unsettling conversation at Jesus's birthday dinner. The guy I was talking to was calling me a Bolshevik, because I said accountability was important to having meaningful public dialogue. It was that, and a bunch of other things, but calling me a communist sums it up. It was absurd. I think I know what he was saying a little better now, but my original sentiment stands: he was just looking for opportunities to complain about his rights being trampled on, without really listening to what I was saying. Weird vibes; I was uncomfortable the whole time, really shivering. Yes, it was a little cold, but I usually don't shiver like that.
I feel a little off, physically. My right side is feeling tense - the thing the doctors couldn't figure out. Great. Should I just hope it goes away again? No, I should probably schedule an appointment, if that's at all possible. I don't have much time before Iceland. Sigh. I really feel out of sorts. I'm just going to sit zazen and go to bed; hopefully tomorrow will bring something else.
Good night.
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