Yesterday I said that I didn't want to spend time thinking of reasons why it would not be good to be with Sarah, saying that constant fault-finding is not what I want to do. Well, mea culpa, of course it not being good to be with someone is not the same as fault-finding. My apologies to myself for not making that distinction.
I'm just going to be dumbfounded for a moment about something sticking in my mind: Sarah put her cheek up against mine. Sarah put her cheek up against mine.
The balls on that girl. The nerve.
I'm fucking chatting with her on Facebook right now.
What is this? And why has it come to this?
I'm chatting too much to have any serious thoughts right now. I need to end and go to bed.
Good night, all.
This obsessive behavior. I just need to cool it, really. Cooooooool it. I can cool it. That is largely what zazen is for.
This post is not the best ever. I wish I could write in more detail. Little bits like this are what I have to work with at the moment. I could go deeper.
I just want to love and be loved.
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