Day of Feeling 23

A generally good day, not inspiring me to write very much.

As I type this up, an interesting facebook chat about meeting people in Santa Fe. I was saying that human beings need common goals in order to develop lasting relationships. If you are isolated, reaching out across the gaps is going to feel awkward, too high voltage, too uncomfortable. Remember, the other person's majesty is really your own experience of the electricity of your own need.

People only say yes to a need that is handled properly. They don't want to be involved in a wild need.

Is that the message of Phedre? Need destroys you, need rejected. Need mastered, need accepted. Well, one of many messages.

What makes the heros and don juans irresistible is their ability to accept their needs. (I'm not sure about that one - there must be more to it than that.)

I don't have a whole lot to say philosophically, cleverly.

I think I just want to write something a little rawer, maybe more honest:

I really want to be touched.

I want to be touched, and I want to be able to touch when I want to.

Why, why, why is it so difficult?

Sam asked me to sit and try to dig deep into this issue I have, where I feel my love is so threatening to people I have to hide it at all costs. I haven't had the time yet. Can I do it tomorrow? Saturday? I hope so. I am so reluctant to work on these things...

I will find a way.

Good night.